The Rejuvinating Effects of Michigan

July 9-11, 2010. Trip Home. Art Fair. Family.

It has been months since I felt like I could actually relax. I didn't get to go to the beach, but then again, this time around I would have had to go by myself which is not fun. So, instead I settled for a lounge chair in the closest thing I have to Eden, which is my back yard. Even though the woods have been gone for some time now and I have houses instead of wooding in my yard, it is still a place where one can come to sit and breathe.

My original purpose for coming home this weekend was to visit the Art Fair on the Bluff, which is one of the local summer spectacles for locals of SW Michigan, and most of the Chicago land area. I was hoping to revisit a man who had made magnificent jewelery pieces, which I first saw earlier this year at the art fair in my other hometown, Broad Ripple. I was not so fortunate as to find him again, but what I did get in exchange was much more satisfying. Since my time here is limited, I wanted to venture through the exhibit on the opening day, Saturday, so that I might have a chance to really take in all that there was to see, without feeling rushed. My mom, not being particularly fond of the idea, suggested that I call my aunt Lori, who lives just outside of St.Joe and who is also my kindred spirit in just about every way. I had wanted to see if she would be interested in going. Through some fantastic streak of good fortune my other aunt, Dena, was planning to come in town to visit some other family members that were in from Ohio. I just had to smile at the prospect of getting to spend the day with these wonderful ladies.

It's not very often that I remember how BLESSED I am with an amazing network of Aunts and cousins. They all made the day one that was full of giggly moments and aside comments made to one another about the other. It's the closest thing I've ever had to having sisters. Dena, who is the youngest of my aunts and the last child that my grandparents had, is also the closest to my age. Now that I'm in my 20's, the gap has been bridged even more so. Dena, my brother, and I have always had an inside joke that we are the heathen children of the family. Listening to rock music and drinking beer, talking about the hang over from the night before. It's almost like we missed the conservative gene that the rest of my family received.

So the five of us girls ventured out: me, my aunt Dena, my aunt Lori, my cousin Emily, and my mom. Now, I love my mom.. I do. But sometimes she misses the boat. The good fashion-sense/logic boat. Personally, I don't think a foam visor with a flip-flop print and one of the curly shoe strings around back, is really the kind of fashion statement ANYONE should make. In our defense, we tried to stop it, but there was no such luck to be had.. so we made a compromise. (which wasn't really much of a compromise for the better at all.) Since the shirt my mom was wearing was already some ridiculous print in black and white, we made her flip the visor over so as not to see the monstrous flip-flop print, but instead it was a healthy shade of royal blue foam. Sometimes there really is no helping those who won't take the hand extended to them :).

A visit home is never the same. Most of the time my social calendar fills with will forced rendezvous with people who I haven't seen in a long time. They are usually friends and co-workers of my parents, and I end up feeling more like a show pony than a daughter. While having lunch with my mom on Friday, she was trying to get me to stop into her office to see people. These people who's names I would not remember or even recall having ever met. I had to wonder what the conversation could be like with some who has not seen or talked to me since I was 6 or 7...." Stranger: So what are you doing these days?, Me: Well I can make my own food now, I can dress myself, I can Drive a car, and I have a full time job.".. Its like how exactly do you bridge a 15 year gap in interaction with someone kid you may have seen one time? I have to laugh because I know the only reason they are asking is to be polite, because in all honesty, who really cares? It will be another 12 years before they have another opportunity to act interested in a co-workers child who is grown and left home.

God love her, I know my mom is proud and that she loves me more than anything, but her and I as a mother-daughter duo can be like water and oil sometimes. Last weekend we had quite a tiff and I was concerned what it would do to my visit home this weekend. Originally I was supposed to have a visitor accompanying me home, but plans fell through and I was left here to fend for myself with the awkwardness. This past week, I had a few discussion with a man which I will refer to as McFraid- an older gentleman who lives in Canada, and who I am finding to be a very helpful asset because he asks the right questions. This week we have been talking a lot about the relationship that I have with my mom. He received me shortly after being put out by my mom, and could sense I was upset by the situation. We spoke frankly for many hours about the fine inter working of me, my personality, my mom's personality, how our relationship functions, and the things that I felt toward her at the moment. He offered me many words of wisdom like " be gracious," "remember that she is human, and is just as likely to make mistakes as you are," and "you both want to be heard." It puts things to perspective very quickly that I was making things worse rather than better for being upset at nuances of our relationship.



there is more to come.