I have missed this place.

Sand. Water. Waves. Calm/ I wish I could wake up to this everyday. Hear the tide, the eb and flow of each crashing crashing on the sand. Its noise, but it's quite and constant. No one really quite ever understands what I mean when I tell them how much I miss this place. Love happened(happens) here,mourning happened here, healing happened here. The very things which have the ability to shape me down to my raw material came from here. Yet there is nothing here- no vending machine for romance, or box of Band-aids on the waterfront. Its just me, the water, the sun and the sand. Not exactly the recipe anyone thinks of when they start thinking of ingredients that will make all three things.

But it is just the same. It's the peace of being next to something which is bigger than me. Something which is not controlled by inconsequential things. It changes but it also stays the same. It looks like it has no ending, but you know that ther other side is not far away. It makes me feel small and safe. Even at night, when all the tourists have gone home and the sun has disappeared, the horizon line is dotted with boat lights. Its not getting to the end of the summer and that means that soon classes will begin and the dark grey days of winter are soon to reappears. I can't stomach another grey haze taking over for 6 months. When there is no other small source of joy ( no trees, no flowers, no sunlight, no life) it drives me to a desperate place where I start to feel completely alone. I know that this is all most likely symptoms of SAD, but how do I avoid the slump? I'm ready to find a place where life doesn't have to settle into hibernation.

I have been longing for a place where sunshine is a daily occurrence, not once a week or once a month. I want to look like life is abundant and ever growing rather than dwindling.